I've had a pretty big journey with HPV 18 - one of the cervical-cancer-causing viruses.
For as long as I can remember, my cervical pap-smear test results have always shown "changed cells".
This has meant for most of my life, I've had annual pap-smear tests. I've also had to have multiple colposcopies (camera looking at my cervix) and at least 2 biopsies to check if the cells on my cervix were cancerous - I'm happy to report, all of which came back negative.
About 5 years ago, I started studying Tantra and a huge part of the tantric tradition is for people to be fully connected to their bodies and their sexuality.
I wasn't connected to my body...I was emotionally and sexually shut down.
So, a journey began to reconnect to my body, to feel my emotions and to find my sexual energy. (Actually, the journey to open up my emotions and start my healing started about 11 years ago, but this deepened significantly with tantra).
18 months ago, when my pap-smear test again showed changed cells, the doctor casually mentioned I had HPV (Human Papilloma Virus).
I was horrified - I knew HPV was contagious and my partner would be at risk also from this. I researched and discovered there are many strains of HPV... some cause genital warts (known as "low risk HPV") and others cause cervical cancer (known as "high risk HPV").
The NHS test wasn't able to tell me which strain of HPV I had, so I paid for a private test to find out and learned I had HPV 18 - one of the "high risk" HPVs, that is linked to causing cervical cancer.
Given that I was already being monitored annually for cervical cancer, this didn't bother me. What did bother me, was to discover that I'd actually had HPV for about 4 years and no-one had told me!
As I journeyed deeper into tantra and reconnecting with my body, I learned how unexpressed emotions can create physical disturbances in the body and it became more and more evident that my recurring changed cervical cells and HPV status must be heavily linked to my past emotional suppression and disconnect from my sexual energy.
I set the intention to learn to love and honour my cervix and to reconnect so fully with her, that I could clear the HPV and heal the cells that had for so many years been at risk of turning cancerous.
I took up various practises to restore feeling in my cervix. Tara Yoga Centre in London was amazing at helping to guide me in this. Earlier this year, I also took part in a 3-week intensive course called "Self-Cervix" run by the amazing Olivia Bryant, which gave me tools to clear stale energy from my cervix and release things that may be stored there.
One of the release rituals we did in that course, was so powerful it brought my period 2 weeks early! Talk about cleansing and releasing...
My intentional practise to love and connect to my cervix has continued and, as part of my ISTA Level 2 training in May this year, I released even further any old energy that my cervix was holding on to. I knew after this, something had shifted. I knew I was making progress to let go of the negative energies that had been held in my cervix possibly all of my adult life.
Finally, in August, a skin virus that had been with my body for 7.5 months cleared and I had a sense that my cervix healing was also complete. I retook the paid HPV test to be sure...in fact, I took it twice to be doubly sure!!!
And I am delighted to share that both came back negative - I am officially free of the HPV-18 virus!!! ...AND my smear test this year showed no changed cells 🎉 🎉 🎉
I am sat here crying tears of joy and relief as the reality sets in that my cervix is back! She is mine again and I have successfully created a loving connection with her again, honouring her for the magnificent, sacred, precious part of my body that she is.
Thank you, body! Thank you so much for working with me and trusting me again. I can't tell you how incredibly grateful I feel 🌟 🙏 🌟
