Shared from Philippe Lewis's post.
Here are the basics of safer sexual engagements:
- BOUNDARIES: make it clear to each other where you DON'T want to go with sex.
- DESIRES & PACE: share or make it clear what you enjoy so the other person doesn't have to guess.
- CONSENT: as you go from first to second to third to fourth base, ask for consent. if nothing else, ask for consent around ANY penetration.
- SAFER SEX: use condoms or other barrier for ALL fluid contact with genitals UNLESS you both agree not to use them.
- INTOXICATION: don't have sex intoxicated unless you have a conversation where you both agree intoxication is okay.
- MEANING: ask each other what will it mean if you have sex. ONLY have sex if the meanings are compatible.
- TRAUMA: Share with each other about patterns related to trauma (physical, emotional, sexual) that the other person should know about and how to care for you well if these patterns show up
- TALK: Have a chat about all of the above BEFORE having sex and also include things like latests STD infections, tests, and results.
- FEEDBACK: get in touch with each other after having sex. ask each other how it was and if there is any way to make it better next time without pressure that there will be a next time.
- SAFE SEX: remember: the ONLY safe sex is no sex.
