We have FOUR decision centres in our bodies - not just our head!
They are...our mind, our heart, our emotions and our physical body / genitals.
* Who recognises having made decisions from our head?
* Who recognises having made decisions from our heart?
* And who recognises making decisions from our genitals..?
* What about from our emotions?
Maybe you can see you make decisions more from one of these power centres than the others...
How often are all 4 in agreement???
ISTA - International School of Temple Arts teaches about these decisions centres and the importance of listening to all 4 when we make a decision.
I recently found myself in a situation where my heart and genitals wanted to proceed with an intimate encounter, yet something didn't feel right.
I couldn't put my finger on what it was, I could just feel that some very small part of me felt hesitant.
My head didn't know who to listen to... heart and sex? Or emotional body? 2 against 1....surely majority wins, right??
Well, that would have been my old pattern... To go with how the majority of me felt... in this case, to proceed and ignore the part of me that was scared.
And many thoughts went through my head...
What will they think of me if I stop this? Will they feel rejected? Will I be rejected? What if this opportunity never happens again and I miss out?
It would have been sooo easy to just go with the flow and ignore that small, very quiet niggle that said "But...I'm not sure..."
It took every ounce of courage to change that pattern and say "Can we slow down? Something doesn't feel right"...
And we did slow down...and still the niggle didn't go away...
Do I ignore it? Do I just go along with it?
FUCK, NO.
Does my partner want to have sex with someone who isn't a "hell yes" to it? Does my partner want to later find out a part of me wasn't really ok with it?
NO, THEY DO NOT!!!
So, I honoured it...
"Actually, can we pause? A part of me feels scared and it feels important to acknowledge that".
So we paused and just cuddled.
Actually, I used that pause to then bring up the ISTA safer sex 'elevator speech', so that we could both get clear on what this interaction meant to us, what our boundaries were, express any fears, our desires and also when we last had an STI check up.
And...after that?
My niggle went away 😊
It felt heard. It felt seen. It felt important and acknowledged. And then it felt comfortable 🙏🏼💖🙏🏼
